A Survivor's Prayer

There was a time in my life

Not too long ago

When I protected you

And before that 

For so very long

I thought I must admire  you

That you were deserving of my respect

They said you were golden

So I must have been to blame

We are a family

Families stick together

But they neglected to mention

Families don't abuse

Families don't rape

Families don't destroy

Families don't threaten

But you did

You hurt me

You are hurting me

You act so haughty

As if you have never done wrong

You wear the garb

As if its a shield

You surround yourself with deniers

So you will never be exposed

You seem to have forgotten

That there is a God

A God who knows

A God who never forgets

You don't seem to care or be bothered

By the burden on your soul

Of the abuse you inflicted on me

You live a carefree existence

While I twist and turn in pain

Every single day

My soul will never be pure

My heart will never be whole

My nights will never be restful

My days will never be peaceful

I have learned to live a half a life

To make do with what's left of me

Will the day ever come

When the tables will be turned

When you will fear me

When you will beg for my forgiveness

I long for that day

Yet I dread that time

What will I say

What will I do

How will I feel

Only time will tell

All I can do is pray

And hope

And dream

That I am filled with peace

And acceptance

And love

Please God.