Damsel in Distress

Look at me
See my strengths
Want my beauty

See me
As a survivor
A waging warrior

Want me
For who I am
And all that I can be

Don't look at me
And see me
As a damsel in distress

Don't look at me
And want me
Like a problem to be solved

When I look at my life
I see pain and hurt
As building blocks to my blessings

When I see me
I see my past overcome
And a future to be built

I want you
To throw away what you see
And see what I see

Could you please?

Puzzle Pieces

When I was born
I was given one piece
The puzzle piece of life
But one piece does not do much good

I held onto it and saved it
As time went on, more pieces were added
I received passion and energy
Eventually the piece for words too

I found the pieces for relationships
Hidden away, getting kind of dusty
And I started to put it together
But alas, I did not have a complete picture

It felt like I was losing pieces
My puzzle would never be complete
But then something happened
It changed how I was figuring it out

I stopped living to complete the puzzle
I no longer attempted to find the missing pieces
Instead I just lived.
I took the pieces I had and used them daily

And somehow the missing pieces came around
They seemed to appear out of thin air
Snapping into place
The picture started to appear

I saw that was I was doing, the way I was living
Using the pieces from my early years
To create my picture now
Helped me find my way and my mission

I fell into this role
I was just trying to clean up
And put together a thousand piece puzzle
But instead I created my life

Forgiveness

Filled with resentment

Burning with anger

I keep a tight grasp on my feelings

With no room for peace to enter

But it’s hurting, all too painful

Deeper than I remember the abuse to be

Eating up at my life

Inhibiting all chances of bliss  

I expected more, deserved better

Where was the love I sought?

All I got was the abuse

And now I’m living in the aftermath

I want to soak up the joy

But I keep drinking the poison

I need to let go and breathe

Release us both from my heart’s prison

I see you now with compassion

You could not do better

But alas, I can and I will

I shall live with mercy in my heart

I have forgiven the universe

And the universe has given me serenity

Deep Hearts

Deep Hearts
They hold more
And feel more
But mine also gives more

My passion is my strength
Don't tell me to lose it
It's the captain that drives
My deep heart

And in my deep heart
I hold many emotions
It pulls me in to your kindness
But pushes me away when I'm hurt

I was not born to be still
And lead a quiet, mediocre life
This deep heart can only keep pumping
When it gives and leads and creates

You say I'm too sensitive
They say I'm too intense
But I say this is how my blood flows
Its where I get my oxygen

Dream a Little Dream

I have a dream
A vision
Of what kind of life I want

The life I deserve

A life of peace
Filled with joy 

Healthy days

When pain no longer haunts me

But all that is just a far off dream

A dream I cannot achieve by wishing alone

It is nothing without a plan

The life I deserve will never come unless I bring it in

So I set forth on this journey

Of bringing my life alive
By keeping myself alive
And advocating for the peace and joy I deserve

But

I was little

You were older.

I was naive
You took advantage.

I was trusting
You were manipulative.

And you abused me
But it was more than abuse.

You stole from me
However I'm not sure I want it back.

You stole my childhood
My innocence and ability to trust.

But I gained knowledge and a deeper sensitivity towards others in pain.

You stole my feelings of self-worth
The way I felt comfortable in my own skin.

But I am learning to ignore societal standards of beauty and love myself despite my flaws.

You stole my parents
How I loved them and felt their love back.

But as I learn to let go, I am able to make decisions that empower me instead of living in their shadows.

You stole my future
It seemed there was nothing left to live for anymore.

But now my future shines brighter than yours, the star child, and I know all hope is not lost.

You stole my body
Now it no longer responds the way it used to.

But I have learned to be more sensitive to my body and to listen to those silent messages.

You stole what I could have been
Everything I wanted to be is now out of reach.

But now I have been given opportunities that are far greater than anything I could have ever imagined.

You stripped my mind
It is now haunted by the demons of what you have done.

But now I am healing and no longer haunted by the demons because you can no longer control me.

You stole and stole selfishly without a second thought.

But you can't bring me down. This has made me stronger than I could have ever hoped to be.

Blessings for the New Year

I've been blessed with so much

More than so many

Really I should be ever so grateful

For every breath I take

And all the walks and runs

At least I am healthy and alive

For all the trips to beaches

Hikes in the woods

and summer days at the fair

For all the songs sung

And the beats I dance to

And the music I can hear

And grateful I am

But, oh, how I wish

For more, for better

There must be a higher purpose

To this face they call beautiful

That cannot smile or laugh

Will these deep brown eyes

Ever cease to cry
And twinkle with life?

So I pray and hope

For strength and joy,

Peace and serenity,

Healing and love

For me and all of you

May we be blessed with

A sweet and happy New Year

Gratitude

There's a silver lining

In every cloud

A rainbow

After every storm

A light

At the end of the tunnel

But most of all there's love

Love and friendship after pain

When friends and family come together

To help and protect the one they love

Its the unity

That strengthens their mission

Its the love

That combats the hatred

The beauty

That wipes away the ugliness

The good

That overtakes the bad

Its all this and more I am grateful for

Every single day

But most of all this year

Thank you for everything

Happy Thanksgiving!

A New Year

A New Year

New beginnings

A chance to start fresh

The opportunity to wipe it clean

And begin anew

For over a decade I would try

Every single year

To make strong resolutions

I attempted to be a good person

And wash my soul clean of sin

But every year I failed

Constantly covering up the blemishes

Yet, they always resurfaced

Never fully healed

Blemishes that uglied my reflection

It tortured my already distraught soul

I thought I was too bad to be good

There was no hope

No chance of a future

Not for the likes of me

But then I matured

I was surrounded by strength

Affirmations from friends lifted me up

And I slowly realized a deep truth

It was never my fault

I am not to blame

I did not perpetuate evil

I did not seduce my molester

He committed evil

I was merely a victim

But now I am a survivor

A survivor starting a new year

A new life

Blessings

Amongst the pain and tears
There's a light
A bright shining light

With each breath I take
And every day I face
That light shines brighter

The struggles I have overcome
The challenges and hurdles
Life put in front of me
I jumped over
Each time with higher leaps and bounds

My life has been so tumultuous
Never a peaceful moment
Always a new test to pass
And I have always passed
And given strength to that light

By now, I thought the game is over
The light has reached its limit
It cannot shine any brighter
The challenges are due to cease

But no, I was wrong

For every time I smile

And every time I laugh
For each blessing I acknowledge
The light gains power

And my life is so full of goodness

I am so very blessed
Even if the times of suffering
There's a silver lining
To hold onto and to grasp

So every time I choose to notice
To seek and to acknowledge
My life becomes richer
Happiness surrounds me
In the glow of that bright light