Forgiveness

Filled with resentment

Burning with anger

I keep a tight grasp on my feelings

With no room for peace to enter

But it’s hurting, all too painful

Deeper than I remember the abuse to be

Eating up at my life

Inhibiting all chances of bliss  

I expected more, deserved better

Where was the love I sought?

All I got was the abuse

And now I’m living in the aftermath

I want to soak up the joy

But I keep drinking the poison

I need to let go and breathe

Release us both from my heart’s prison

I see you now with compassion

You could not do better

But alas, I can and I will

I shall live with mercy in my heart

I have forgiven the universe

And the universe has given me serenity

Deep Hearts

Deep Hearts
They hold more
And feel more
But mine also gives more

My passion is my strength
Don't tell me to lose it
It's the captain that drives
My deep heart

And in my deep heart
I hold many emotions
It pulls me in to your kindness
But pushes me away when I'm hurt

I was not born to be still
And lead a quiet, mediocre life
This deep heart can only keep pumping
When it gives and leads and creates

You say I'm too sensitive
They say I'm too intense
But I say this is how my blood flows
Its where I get my oxygen

The Love that I Dream of

I dream of a love so deep
We will always hold hands
To keep our heads afloat
Just so we don't drown 

I dream of a love so kind
Our dreams will become in sync
Our work will support the other
And the other will support our work

I dream of a love so real
When we correct the others errors
There will sincere gratitude
Instead of taking offense

I dream of a love so beautiful 
At times I wonder
Is it just a dream
Can a love like this take root and live?

I dream of this love
And I won't settle for less
Because this love is in my heart
And its the only love I know how to give

Gratitude

There's a silver lining

In every cloud

A rainbow

After every storm

A light

At the end of the tunnel

But most of all there's love

Love and friendship after pain

When friends and family come together

To help and protect the one they love

Its the unity

That strengthens their mission

Its the love

That combats the hatred

The beauty

That wipes away the ugliness

The good

That overtakes the bad

Its all this and more I am grateful for

Every single day

But most of all this year

Thank you for everything

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Deepest Desire

I am a person
a human being 

I am a soul
with feelings and emotions

I am a woman
who wishes and desires

I don't ask much
not for your love
not for your affection

I don't desire
your approval
nor your flattery

All I want
All we want
All anyone wants
is respect

It is not just a mere desire
It is my deepest desire

But it is more than that
It is a necessity

Like the air we breathe
The food we eat
And the water we drink

Every one of us needs respect

We are people, human beings 
And women with souls. 

A New Year

A New Year

New beginnings

A chance to start fresh

The opportunity to wipe it clean

And begin anew

For over a decade I would try

Every single year

To make strong resolutions

I attempted to be a good person

And wash my soul clean of sin

But every year I failed

Constantly covering up the blemishes

Yet, they always resurfaced

Never fully healed

Blemishes that uglied my reflection

It tortured my already distraught soul

I thought I was too bad to be good

There was no hope

No chance of a future

Not for the likes of me

But then I matured

I was surrounded by strength

Affirmations from friends lifted me up

And I slowly realized a deep truth

It was never my fault

I am not to blame

I did not perpetuate evil

I did not seduce my molester

He committed evil

I was merely a victim

But now I am a survivor

A survivor starting a new year

A new life

Survivors

Survivors,
You're my sisters, my brothers
The ones I never had

You support me
You protect me
You empathize with me

Like they never did

You hold my hand
You lead the way
You keep me standing

And I do the same for you

Because we're brothers and sisters
Friends and supporters
Fellow survivors

You are my family that I chose
The family that I need
The family I never had

Thank you.

My One True Friend

When I think about my journey

From a quiet secret keeper

To a roaring advocate

I think of all the roads I traveled

The people I met

The ones who guided me

And the ones who led me off course

I always think of you first

You showed me where the trail begins

Where it ends

And all the hidden courses along the way

You cheered me on

You comforted me

You defended me

You advised me

Without you, I'd still be quiet

Without you, I'd still be numb

You gave me hope

You were my hope

Without any expectations

Without any promise of payment

You respected my space

And my needs

You are the one true friend

In a world full of lies

Thank you for saving me

Thank you for being you

Thank God for you

Butterflies

When you meet that pretty girl

The one who seems timid and meek

So shy she won't even look you in the eye

You think what's the matter with her

Why can't she be sociable and normal

But be kind, be nice, be gentle

For in a few months time

You shall meet again

But now she's a beautiful woman

So strong and proud

She holds her head up high

Smiles wide and says hello

And you can hardly believe it is her

Oh how she transformed!

Because you were kind and nice and gentle

And that's how all the caterpillars turn to butterflies

That sullen girl who now laughs and smiles

That angry guy who is now a fine gentleman

And all the hurt people who suddenly learn to live again

Always be kind and nice and gentle

For they are far greater than you