Dear Mom (Part I)

Mother,

I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me,

But I couldn't.

I wanted to remember the lessons you taught us,

But I couldn't.

I wanted to appreciate the time and money spent,

But I couldn't.

I wanted to reminisce over the fun times,

But I couldn't.

I wanted to tell you that you're the world's greatest mom,

But I couldn't.

I wanted to hug you and say I love you,

But I couldn't.

All I could do was

Remember and cry,

Devastated,

Mourning the loss

of a childhood and innocence

Corrupted and stolen,

Stunted in its prime.

All I could think about was

Your apathy,

Your negligence,

Your determination to ignore

and undermine my pain.

You insist on his innocence,

Portraying his virtues,

Making him out to be a saint.

When in reality he is not.

He hurt me,

Abused me,

Destroyed my very being.

But he is your hero,

Your rock,

You say he's perfect;

Perfectly abusive is what I say.

Mother,

I wish I could thank you

and remember the good you have done.

But all that is overshadowed

by your failure to protect me

The sweetness in our life

is meaningless.

The memories have disappeared.

And all I can remember now

is the violent abuse.

You cared more about your public image

Than the helpless child who was your very image.

And that is unforgivable.

Sincerely, 

Your seven year old daughter