The Day I Made My Decision

The day I made my decision

I called JCW

On that very day

I searched my heart

And considered all the factors

Well, all but one.

Just one factor

The one we read about in the media

Never crossed my mind for a second

It had no influence over my decision

Money.

The media always paints the victim with a broad brush

As a money hungry, attention-starved nobody

Looking to ruin the life of a celebrity

As if sexual abuse could never be true

But the day I made my decision

When I called JCW

And said I’m ready, let’s do this

I want to confront my abuser

And expressed what I needed to make my life right again

I never spoke of money

I asked to protect society

And promised to preserve his family

I told him to go therapy

To heal himself, like he so badly needed

But I never asked for money

Because all a survivor really needs is closure. 

*JCW-Jewish Community Watch

www.jewishcommunitywatch.org

 

Jewish Community Watch

You ask why you should support JCW.

Let me tell you how JCW  supported me.

For over 2 years they had my back.

When I needed a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, words of advice, or the inspiration to keep on going, JCW was there for me.

When I thought I had gone mute, JCW helped me find my voice again.

When I thought I was too weak to get up and get it done, JCW offered a hand and lifted me up.

When I was scared and alone, JCW stood by my side and hugged me.

And I know I am not the only survivor that JCW has helped. There are so many of us that would not be where we are today without the help of JCW.

So please check out their website- it's new and improved.
It has amazing resources that everyone can benefit from.

Jewish Community Watch is saving lives everyday.
Support them and be on the right side of history.

http://www.jewishcommunitywatch.org/

Roadtrippin' My Heart

It’s been one whole year
365 days
12 long months
2 cities, 2 states
Crossing over 459 miles

But how do you measure emotions?
I’ve gone from numb to angry
I’ve been sad, I felt broken
Some days I was strong, like a warrior
I crossed the scale of emotions over and over

It’s like a road trip of sorts
This thing they call healing
My heart won’t follow any GPS or map
No estimated time of arrival 
It just does its own thing, in its own time

So when you ask me how I got here
Or how I am getting there
Well, there is no answer, to be honest
Each heart and soul takes its own journey
You just have to follow the route that works for you

Frozen

Alone

secluded

locked up in my castle

you think I am rejecting you

but in reality, I am protecting you

both you 

and I 

 

I build up these castle walls

tall

solid

to get in is an impossible feat

only allowed to very few

the privileged

most trusted

sensitive souls

 

My heart seems 

frozen

aloof

the world thinks I do not care

but the cold bothers me

it's all I can do to keep from 

melting, thawing

and losing the power

 

But it's time to change

I can no longer hide

my past

it's dark

and scary

I'm haunted by these secrets

now I need to let it go

rise up and break the ice

test limits

break boundaries

let the world know

the frozen queen is silent no more

Blessings for the New Year

I've been blessed with so much

More than so many

Really I should be ever so grateful

For every breath I take

And all the walks and runs

At least I am healthy and alive

For all the trips to beaches

Hikes in the woods

and summer days at the fair

For all the songs sung

And the beats I dance to

And the music I can hear

And grateful I am

But, oh, how I wish

For more, for better

There must be a higher purpose

To this face they call beautiful

That cannot smile or laugh

Will these deep brown eyes

Ever cease to cry
And twinkle with life?

So I pray and hope

For strength and joy,

Peace and serenity,

Healing and love

For me and all of you

May we be blessed with

A sweet and happy New Year

These Demons

My nights have been filled with tears
Tears mourning over death
Tears wishing for death
Oh, the tears keep flowing

By day, I am consumed by the pain
Hoping for a respite
Yet, knowing it won't come
Dreading the next attack

The panic comes in waves
At times I am possessed
By a cool calm that is not me
But then my demons return

And they return with a vengeance
Not allowing for a moment of peace
They hold me tight
Until I can't breath anymore

My days turn into painful nights
and my nights to teary days
I'm living a nightmare
Unsure of day and night

These demons have captured me.